Acceptance Speech of the President Elect

I received an e-mail on the above subject from a friend a few days ago and I've been bursting with laughter ever since. Before you read, please note that this is just a joke and that no such speech took place anywhere. Make nobody sue me o! I wonder who thought this up, and what he was thinking in his mind. Some people no get job ... he tried sha. Read on...

Sank you, sank you, my pellow Naijurians por ze goodwill messages.

I want to sank you por not boting por me as fresident of ze Pederal Refublic of Naijuria. But I received ze most imfortant botes prom Fresident Obasanjo and INEC. Zis is why I have now been declared ze winner of ze elections and ze fresident-elect of ze Pederal Refublic of Naijuria. Nagode to Obasanjo and nagode to INEC, for zia beri beri imfortant suffort.

Ze pirst task of my new gwament is to fray por feace and stability in Naijuria. I will now ask all ze depeated fresidential candidates to join me in a gwament of national unity. So I will bring back my priends like Atiku, General Babangida and Buhari into my new gwament.

I sink Atiku will be good as ze new head of ze EFCC. Fresident Obasanjo should not worry about my gwament frobing him, gaskiya, at least until apter May 29. Babangida will be ze new minister por pinance, and Buhari will be in charge of ze ministry of War Against Indiscifline.

My fipul, ze task bepore us is a great one, walahi talahi. I don't know where to start, but I want to ashuwa you zat I will act in consultation with all ze emirs and imams.

I am now going to Germany por treatment por exhaustion prom making zis sfeech. I shall be back por ze swearing in ceremony, inshallah.

One Nigeria, one Fee-Di-Fee, Fower to ze fipul.

Umaru Yar'Adua

Fresident-Elect